你的笑容，是我唯一的执著；
你的泪水，是我唯一的弱点；
你的真心，是我唯一的寄托。

我只珍惜你一个人。

说对不起的应该是我。

il m'a laisse tout seuf.

i learnt that today.
it just made me think of her.

slithering pain of nowhere
the impending engulf i may try to applease
but in the moment i am choked in tears that will not fall.
.and now its gone

I wish I could be the one,
the one who won't care at all
But being the one on the stand,
I know the way to go, no one's guiding me.
When time soaked with blood turns its back,
I know it's hard to fall.
Confided in me was your heart
I know it's hurting you, but it's killing me.

Like broken strings
I let them well
I let them run down my cheeks

Soaked sorrow drown inside my heart
Thoughts of you consume my mind
The sweet past sweeps away
Vanishing in the soft whirlwind
Disappearing among the smothering embers

All I have done
All I have sacrificed for you
All a mere breath gone to waste

Memories of you and me
Memories that have withered and buried in snow
Memories of the nights we had together
When our lives glimmered with beauty and meaning

You are the reason my heart is torn apart
You are the reason my tear glands are dry
My heart won't bleed anymore for you
My heart won't break this time
My heart won't be left behind

I want to hate you
I want to despise you
I want to forget you
I want to get you out of my head
I wish you would just fade away
Fade away like words drawn in the sand

I tell myself not to love you anymore
But why can't I do it

My empty chest burns with dull longing
Emptiness still swallows me every night
Under the pillow uncontrollably I shiver in fright
My chest, it aches with sorrow
I know there wouldn't be another tomorrow

The yesterday we have walked together hand in hand
seems to be distancing further and further away
The past that is forever buried deep deep

Have you forgotten everything we have been through
Have you forgotten the promise to stay by each other's side
Have you forgotten our oath never to give up no matter what
What the fuck have I done wrong
To cause you to leave without turning back

All I want
Is to be with you
Frolick in bliss and happiness
Even if a sky full of shooting stars
Grants me a thousand wishes
All I want
Is to
See your smile
Feel you touch
Look into your eyes
Hold you hands
Kiss your soul
Open your heart
Take me in your arms
Embrace me
Promise me you will always be my side

天使的微笑

21/03/08

Cher XX,

Hi. How are you? 别来无恙？

我。。。。。。我很好。

其实，当你看到这封信时，我已经可能不在了。 这段日子里，我也并不快乐。对不起，为难你了。

今年的二月二十九日，我得知我得了癌症，已经到了末期，活不过我十五岁生日。

I supposed that it would
have been easier for you to let go of some cheap "slut", than to let go of
someone you love.

记得三月三日。我们分手了。你知道吗，我是哭着跑回家的。你以为我真的那么狠心，那么轻易的能放下么？

I thought it was for the best.

但我错了。

我是含着泪水，读完你日记上的每一个字。

You just can't let go.

对不起。

I really thought it was for
the best.

我后来想挽回过去。

But it was too late. It was all too late.

我只剩一天了。在我生命的最后一天，我写了这封信，希望还可以补救。

Sometimes, the truth is still
the best.

希望告诉你真相后，你能。。。。。。

就算是我最后的心愿 – 忘了过去。

Move on.

谢谢你曾经握过我的手。

– 天使

我真傻。

The winds are silent.
Perhaps they too, are mourning your absence.
The heavy metal next door has stopped booming out of its stereo.
Irritating as it is, I wish it could continue, for they disrupt my thoughts if you, easing my pain.

Memories start flooding back into my mind before I can lock them up,
unleashed, like a hungry pack of wolves released from their cage,
like a movie with a life on its own
like a silent killer, out with a desire to stab someone's heart.
To see blood flow.

We are on the beach. It is a beautiful night. We sit on the sand, watching the flashing neon lights of the city. It lights up the sky, outlining the buildings with a subtle glow. Then we lie on the sand, gazing at the stars. They twinkle happily, as we would if we were stars ourselves. We talk to each other about everything. Everything under the sun. Anything that comes to our minds. We don't care what we're talking about. We are in each other's company, and that's what that matters most. We lie like that for hours. Yet it feels only like minutes. We do that so many times, yet every night feels like our first.

We are watching a movie. You laugh along with the audience. Moments later, you cry on my shoulder, muttering about the unfairness of it all. That night you hug me goodbye. It feels like heaven.

We are walking along the corridor. You feel distant. I did not say anything. Perhaps you had a bad day. Perhaps.

We are with our friends at the theme park. You are afraid of heights. Yet you go on the roller coaster, you crazy girl. I know how you will be when you come down from it. You come down, close to tears, you face is frozen with fear. You KNEW that the roller coaster would go high. You knew it would. So why did you go? You want adventure, you want something new. I wanted then so much, so much to hug you, to comfort you. But I did not. You wouldn't have liked it then. For the past few weeks, the distance between us stretched. You pushed me away. I could not get back to you. We were like how two same poles of two magnets would repel each other.

You started pushing me away.
I don't know why.
You turned a cold shoulder on me.
I don't understand.

What have I done wrong?

I remember, just a few months ago, you held my hand, and whispered in my ear, saying that you loved me, you loved me. Your warm breath tickled my ear.

I want you back.
Where have you gone?
I want you back.
But I can't.
I want you back.
I heard your message.
I want you back.
I saw your letter.
I want you back
There is only a one way I can achieve that.

She left a message
Never heard it till she died
She said, "I love you"

This was the letter
That she wrote before she died
She penned, "I love you"

That was the photo
We took months before her death
Months, before her death.

a tear trickles down my cheek;

再见

那一句再见，如刀割一般刺伤了我的心，但你却丝毫没有察觉。
那也许会是你对我说的最后一句话。
在你眼里，再见只不过是个词罢了。
在我眼里，再见又为何？
再见意味着离别，离别和重逢本来就是人生不停上演的戏码。
那么离别又是为了什么？
离别是为了重聚，没有离别的苦，哪有重聚的欢乐？
离别是为了思念，有时候，故意离开你几天，是想看看我会否思念你，你又会否思念我。
离别是为了不想你憎恨我。我们再不分开，再纠缠下去，将来你一定会恨我。
离别是为了在你心中留下最后和最好的印象，我现在走了，你就不需要一直躲避我了。
人的一生中，离别是少不了的。

但我们不说再见，好吗？

I wanted the happy ending like in the fairytale.
But fairytales don't ever happen.
It was rejection all over again, replaying itself in a never-ending cycle.
The pain slits through my heart like a broken blade.
Too late.
Stab bleed die.
That was the real ending.

I saw my whole life before me.
From the outside looking in.

XX/XX/XX

it hurts like hell. dont know why i even bothered.
maybe it was how amazingly good the pain felt-- like nothing can hurt me more.
maybe it was the promise it gave me-- that i will come out stronger.
maybe it was the sensation, that moment after the pain, when i was numb-- and nothing can make me feel anymore.
maybe all i wanted was to be heard.

XX

我最难过的是放弃你
我沒想过痛过伤过的结局竟是放手
我可以遗忘过去吗？
忘记遇见你时飞扬的櫻花
放弃你
会是我一生的遺憾
我们都默默地看着结局在改变

也许，放弃只意味着一个新的开始
也许，这一切都是命运的安排
可是我放不下

白雪把罅隙染成黑色，黑夜把细雨染成灰色。
我的世界变得上下前后左右黑白。
我成为了你的倒影，倒映着我永远完不成的梦。
于是我在春夏秋冬里变得越来越沉默，你在四季里越来越缓慢，世界很安静。
一切变得很微妙。
你在我的身边走过，我没有理由，更不敢奢求。
放下了我也可以勇敢地走。
快乐只希望时间可以慢慢溶解。没有收获，但也不会惋惜。
只有我还在唱自己的独角戏。

Why did you beat me down,

why did you leave me here.

why did you push me away,

you taught me how to fear.



-Scars Of Life,Mute.

It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day. - the Naked Gun

same old story?

下辈子你还会记起我的微笑吗
那微笑的背后隐藏着什么你知道吗
我希望我的灵魂彻底坠落
让我有个死心的理由
去忘记你
不再爱你
因为我已无力承担最后的一点心痛
望着淒涼的天空
从回意中
彻底醒过來
但谢谢你握过我的手
因为每个人都有自己的故事

I'm lying in a pool of blood
I'm lying in a daze
I'm lying in a pool of blood
Imagining your face

The penknife is falling from my hand
My hair's over my face
And so I breathe in deep, to
Remember that last embrace.

love will make you forget time

time will make you forget love

i just need some (more) time

想对某人说对不起。

我曾经是多么执着，可为何现在却又动摇？我无法勇敢地重新寻找新的依靠……忘记你，不痛。忘记你，好痛。原来现实生活中根本没有童话，没有期待中美好的结局。所以我清楚，你不会回来，我早已不再相信这个伪装出来的世界还有纯真。

我正在努力地学习对你不在意。偶尔听到你的名字，我也可以不在乎。我会微笑着接受命运的安排，曾经不相信命运的我，现在只能乖乖地向命运投降。天边夕阳的光晕把卷云染成大片的棉絮，一缕一缕的，煞是好看。没有你的时候，我就会望着窗外，一直发呆。你会不会偶尔想起我？这个分外陌生的世界，一切都像黑白无声电影里的片段，黯然失色。夕阳的余晖洒在天与地的交界处，世界在此刻似乎万籁俱寂。每当这个时候，我就很期待你可以出现，可是每次得到的，都是令人灰心失望的结果。一次次失望，面对着绝望，早已经麻木了。

此刻，翘起微笑的嘴角，脸上却闪动着金色的泪光。

但我知道，你不会再回来了。

那句对不起，也太晚了。

木头对火说：你抱我好吗？
火没有多想，拥抱了木头
木头微笑着化作为灰烬
火哭了，泪水熄灭了自己

猫和鱼的故事

猫对鱼说：“我爱你”
鱼说：“你走开！”
猫伤心地离开了。
可是，又有谁知道，猫走后，鱼流泪了。
每一个结局都是一个新的开始。

为什么拥抱只是瞬间
却不是永远？
我宁愿时间定格
为的是留住她在我身边的时间……

天很灰，很暗
仿佛要下雨了
我们一起回家
放学路上，我们慢慢地走，我推着自行车，她背着重重的书包
一起走在放学路上
我只希望时间停止，我们可以永远在一起
谢谢你.

我告戒自己，以后绝对不可以再流眼泪
一定要坚强
尽管没有人陪
是转眼间的玩笑？还是？
为什么我们这么近了，可是还是不能在一起？...
我是恶魔吧？怎么都这么讨厌我……我到底做错了什么……告诉我……为什么......
我必须挽留，必须挽留
为了她，我牺牲什么都可以，我要留下最真挚的友谊
别人以为我不在乎，无所谓
其实我很在乎，我什么都在乎，只是没有人看出来 ，我时刻都戴着面具，面具。
我不，我决不可以失去她，我不能放弃，我不能认输
眼角，模糊……

i am so happy
dont know why
HAHAHAHA
LAUGH AND LIVE FOR ONCE, DUDE.

this is the end, goodbye world.

自杀...


黑暗...说一句话掉一滴泪,我们的花儿还在那样盛开,我们为什么不可以盛开?不知不觉间我已经泪流满面.想到我们以前的种种过错,我徘徊在你身旁的日子,总是像刀割了一样疼,怎么不回来?怎么不回来?我不知道这是第几次这样把自己封闭起来,真的是好难受,我们都不可以再实验...你也许离开我是被上帝安排的,我好想让你再陪我一分钟啊!我都被折磨够了,这种日子受够了!心寒...
你难道忘了我?花枯人哭,都是我不对,我做好了准备
自杀...
可怕的字眼!我们都不可以在回来,可惜不够时间,我哭了,你最后属于谁呀?我都这个样子了,你为什么还不来看我?你就让我死吗?我们其实在那天我转身后就已经很陌生了,我们真的从此陌路?也许距离已经很远了我们都没有珍惜...去年夏天,你在我的左边笑着,那样子我一辈子都忘不了,天使爱捉弄人,当我发现幸福时,幸福已经飞走了.如果你从未出现,我也许会更快乐一些...
自杀...
温柔的字眼!我就可以遗忘你了,我可以忘了雨中初相遇,分手总是在雨天...不想虚度以后的日子,我要自杀,一切都在我的指尖,稍纵即逝.一切都是我的幻影,该结束的就结束吧,我们最灿烂的结局...
这一天是星期天,一个人上街，我向来独来往。伤心河是距此最近的水域。我走到了河边上，阳光明媚，照在河面上，波光粼粼，煞是好看。但是,手中怎会有一把锃亮小刀？
我笑了，小刀在我食指上划出一道伤口，伤口流出血来。
白色的血
白色的血滴在河里，慢慢的，坠落到河底。
像一条线。
冷酷无情
我终于忘记了你
白色的血
缓缓流向死亡...
...

自杀.

去年夏天的咖啡


咖啡很甜,我一直这么认为.所有的人都认为我疯了,我喜欢喝那种最苦的,因为有你,永远都觉得最甜,所以,咖啡往往都是幸福…
我最留恋去年夏天的咖啡,有你,总是不顾我的任性,陪我去喝咖啡, 因为有你,永远都觉得最甜,那是世界上最甜的咖啡,
咖啡里漂浮着淡淡的甜蜜,即使是哭时,都会觉得分外甜蜜,我知道,这就是友谊
永远的友谊…
现在,自己一个人坐在咖啡店的最里的角落,我不敢回忆,我害怕伤心,只有自己一个人的咖啡,我独自品尝,很苦,不知道是为什么,今天的咖啡居然是苦的,没有人能够回答,只不过过去了一年…一年,时间太长,分别太久,,为什么我们不可以留在那个夏天,为什么?这到底是为什么呀!
渐渐的,眼泪融入了咖啡,它变的更苦了,仿佛是一种辛酸,才下眉头,却上心头…
失去并不可怕,可怕的是永远在失去的痛苦中挣扎..
咖啡喝完了,一切都结束了

黑白照片

爱，就像是一张黑白照片
挤出了灿烂的笑容
看着，看着，反被悲伤遮住了脸
左边冷漠
右边温柔
就算流干了泪，哭红了眼
只感觉，你离我越来越远
我却无法装作不在乎
看着你，听着你
不再是上帝送给我的礼物
等到寂寞的那天
再拿出来，和你的对白
心碎，就像那些败落的花儿
在阳光下留下飘渺的影子
无论曾经多么辉煌娇媚
可是生命却只留下这么短暂的一瞬
都不足以好好珍惜，就变成干枯的花枝
没有想过要走多远，等多久。
蜕变的蝴蝶，舞动着它弱不禁风的翅膀
风飞，跌落
我和你的黑白照片。
黑暗童话。
用心去遗忘。

Your absence has made me realise my greatest fears.
That i am not special.
That i am not loved.
That i am nobody.
Maybe that's why you left me to wade in my own bloody prescence.
With lines etched on skin
By rusty craftkniveas and shards of glass.
A canvas of skin and paint of blood,
Painting you a picture of what's left
Of me.
A piece of art,
Signed with your name.
.

I'm writing this with the pen you gave me,
its silver, remember?
with angels and roses and hearts carved onto its body.
It was precious, to me.
I put it on my desk.
I watched it everyday,
savouring the feel of it beneath my fingers,
sometimes placing it in my palm,
but i never dared to use it.

But when you remove its cap,
all it does is write in black.

到昨夜梦里醒来,我才真正开始说服自己忘不了她.
我望着那些泪水在枕边留下思念的痕迹,轻声叹息我那不能挽留的缘分.
我回忆起分手的那一天.
那夜她独坐在黑暗中,说她陷入最难的选择,想要对我坦白倾诉.
她爱上了另一个人,但对我的依赖还那么深.
其实我不强求,只要有人能给她快乐,我都不介意.
但...
我是多么希望能给她幸福的那个人是我.
我的心碎了, 你听见了吗?
她没听见.
这次说再见将成为永远.
飞吧, 我的爱.

我的心好痛, 痛得我快窒息了

晴


一直很羡慕这个字，晴。

从小就没有尝过晴天的滋味，悲伤是我生命中最要命的元素。

人说雨天过后，幸福就会在不远处。

可是我的晴天在那里？

悲伤越来越多，晴越来越远，没有任何人体会过在黑暗的悲伤。

为什么每次总是站在原地，却回也回不去？



你就是我的晴天。

天渐渐黑了，人渐渐淡了，我们怎么也奈何不过命运的折磨。

大家都说，这个世界没有公平。

我深深地体会到了这句话的无奈。

我曾经对自己说过不下百次，不哭不哭。可是，为什么总是忍不住掉下眼泪？

眼泪对于曾经的我属于浪费，可是，我却一次又一次的浪费着本不该再浪费的泪水。

装！

没想到这个词居然是形容我的！从小到大，没有人这么说过我，大了，翅膀硬了，可以飞翔了，却换来了一句装……这个世界是不是太疯狂了……为什么所有的过错都是针对我的……走在路上，刮来了一片黄叶.

换了季节，可我的心里还是寒冬。

今天下雨了，凄凄惨惨，花们都落下了。



全都因为你的离开。



雨过天晴

像一片落叶
风是无意的
连拉扯也没发生
放开多难得
飘落只是选择
我不难过了
叶枯了我认了
我们都不属于对方的
可是甜蜜的并不是巧合
我因为你而快乐
只是苦的比较深刻
眼泪要不得
没有非谁不可
叶枯过树更了解自已的颜色
我才懂得
我要什么
谁比较适合
而寂寞自己负责

落叶的归宿

不知什么时候，宿舍的地面上突然多了一片黄叶。

黄叶无言，它的生命已经停止。

它老了，或者死了，或者枯黄成标本，或者要落叶归根，这个由不得它决定。

它很孤独，因为她实在找不到第二片来陪它，宿舍外面虽然落叶纷飞。可他没有权利强制他们来到我的宿舍。生命的归依应该由他们自己决定。

它很孤独，静静地躺着，它能听的到吗？它听不到，因为，它死了。

她不知道这片黄叶从哪里来，也许是校园的大树吧，也许是校园外，或者 ..... 任何一个地方都有可能。

被一只小鸟衔在唇边，再远的路也能走完。

她干脆把它放在从图书馆借来的书页里，悄悄地，悄悄地，看着它，看着瘦瘦的丑丑的它。她想，就把它的家安在这里吧，让它与文字，默默地温存着，也许以后，这本书被一个年轻人或者老教授借到，看到一片悄无言的落叶，泪流满面。

如王子对白雪公主的吻，当一滴带温度的眼泪飘洒在这片落叶上时，落叶便有了生命。

这不是神话，因为神话里的感动最不真实。


没有你， 我就是那片落叶， 那片孤独的落叶， 那片没有归宿的落叶。 而你，你就是给了我生命的那滴眼泪。

我依然在等着你。

Apprehension and sadness in its entirety held me back,
showing me the courage that i had lacked.
Will there ever be a time when my love for you would transcend all that,
waiting, waiting just for the right time,
when this momentous decision will change my whole life.

叶子的离开, 是因为风的追求, 还是树的不挽留..

I won't just sit down and wait
To quietly accept fate.

I took your hand,
I'm never going to let you go now.

I sent the both of us down in the waters,
hand in hand.

i watched as you struggled,
then serenity wash over your features.

Your dress billowing around your small frame,
i held it close to me.

Closing my eyes,
I let the water fill me up.

Hand in hand,
together forever,
in life and death.

I want you back by my side.

Don't you know how hard it is to survive without you? The only reason I could even survive until now is you. Your smile keeps me going.

You keep saying things are never gonna work out between us. I don't believe you. Things will work out eventually. I know they will. They will change. People change. Feelings change. But not my love for you.


You're still the last person I think of before I sleep every night.


I need you once more. Don't leave me.


/We're like a broken fairytale;

So I let go,
watching you,
turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got

如果能再见到你
我只想告诉你
在这世界上
还有一个人是永远思念你的
。。。
难道你真的不在乎我了吗

XX

我是不是疯了？

一直等着、等着，但始终没有看到你。

好久没见到你了。

跟你分手了一个星期。

但觉得好久，好久... ...

没有了你，我为什么还活着？

Scars fade.
Mine are.
Sometimes i wonder if i've managed to erase you from myself,
only recalling flashes of skin and bits of your scent.
Then
the way you hair falls over your neck, hair covering heart-shaped marks of our love;
the way you whispered little words at the base of my neck, lips smiling in my skin;
the way your hands held me, saying that you'd never let go,
saying that we'd be together in forever in life and death,
for as long as forever lasts.
i'll bring back forever,
i'll take you with me,
i'll be with you forever
in life and death.

这幸福的碎片 要我怎么捡... ...

Through early morning fog I see
visions of the things to be
the pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see,

there is nothing to feel anymore,

that suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.

not even the razor blades across my skin.

I try to find a way to make
all our little joys relate
without that ever-present hate
but now I know that it's too late, and

The daggers you thrust in my heart numb me.

The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
so this is all I have to say.

You promised, we promised,

The only way to win is cheat
And lay it down before I'm beat
and to another give my seat
for that's the only painless feat.

to be together in life and death.

The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger,watch it grin, but.

I will never let that break.

'Cause suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.

blogged @ 6:16 PM

Red,
you liked red didn't you?
It was the colour of the roses i gave you on valentines,
that dress you wore to our first date,
Just like the pills that mixed with the blood on my bathroom floor,
Just like the needles on the ground,
Just like the words you said,
It meant nothing at all didn't it?

No ripping please.

XX.
3rd March.
Emo.

她
檬

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